What’s Holding Me Back?!?

What’s Holding Me Back?!?

For some time now, I’ve been battling what I refer to as, “Spiritual Fatigue. One special person whom I respect, told me that it was Spiritual Burnout.  This same person also told me that I was depressed. Funny how we sometimes pick and choose what we are willing to accept about ourselves from others.  Thus, I accepted the spiritual burnout decree, as it was pretty obvious… but I bulked on the depression decree.  This was due to the fact that I have always been an optimist.  These two misnomers were spoken over me in the early 1990’s.  I began to pray about the spiritual burnout, accepting the decree, because I was tired, extremely tired in body, mind and, yes, spirit.  I began to shut down in all the things I had positioned myself in…. “Church jobs & positions, works, even true callings began to be set aside.  I got busy with other things outside the church world.  Eventially, I even accepted the decree of being depressed……which was so against my true nature. Well, satan took the ball and ran with it.  I guess it’s true confession time.  My enemy, satan, began his work of tearing down my world as I had once known it.  I began to believe his lies that I was basicly useless spiritually, so why even try anymore to climb out of the pit I had allowed him to bury me in. Anyone who knew me in the first 20 years of my spiritual life will find this all hard to believe.  I have hid these things from anyone other than my select few family.members.

Try as I would, I just could not muster up enough spiritual strength to get myself back on top.

Satan came against me in family matters for the most part, knowing that was where my heart was, but he also weakened me, due to my health at that time.

I have battled this for many years.  I would get myself back on top, but then be washed over with an attack, and be back in my slump.  I have always had the ability to smile baby smile, go out into the world and be who I “believed” people expected me to be.  But as the years went on, I drew back, separating myself from friends and acquaintances, church (not God) and sometimes even family.

Recently, this heinious monster has raised his vile head again. Yesterday, I talked with my Heavenly Father about this lie from satan……

I heard in my spirit…..STAND AT THE GUARD!!!!!!

I read somewhere the following quote, “A stronghold is a fortress built around a thought.  Frances Frangepayne~

A few nights ago I had read something on a great website,  “The Quickened Word”……  It read, “Restoring the Gatekeeper—restoring the calling and anointing of the doorkeeper.

I heard the Holy Spirit say to me….Stand at the guard… over my kingdom, over myself, my children, stand, and stand, and stand…at my door!!!  We must rise up for God’s Kingdom, securing all that He has given us to do, tying down the hatches, so to speak…in and by the Spirit of God.  We must be on our watch, not allowing even one untruth that satan tries to plant in Gods people, to germinate.  We must be His doorkeeper and pluck out every weed, every lie, every scheme immediately.  That takes perseverance in the Spirit, in Gods Word and in Spiritual Warfare!!!!!  We are the church, we are Gods children and satan does not have the authority to steal, kill or destroy us.  God is saying, Where are my chosen ones, my mighty ones, my warriors……  those who have allowed themselves to be weakened and put on the sidelines by our enemy, satan.  God says to rise up oh might warriors, rise up and change your circumstances and the circumstances of Gods people, through prayer, fastings, declaring His Word over the things satan means to use to set us aside.  Arise O mighty Warriors and DECREE a thing!!!!  Guard the doors, you doorkeepers!!!  Taking back ground!!!!!  The time is NOW!  We have all the weapons of our warfare….  SO JUST USE THEM!!!!

Thank you Lord for the pit that you have delivered me from…Once and For All Time!

Sharon D. Middleton, Okc.

BTW:  Do you know my Savior?  His Name is Jesus and He loves you with an everlasting LOVE!!!!!

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2 thoughts on “What’s Holding Me Back?!?

  1. Debbie Braudrick says:

    Sharon…I do not believe that there is a warrior for God, living or dead, who has not experienced ‘battle fatigue’. I. too, have experienced this. Sometimes received comments….even accusations…..regarding my weak moments. I was just reading Psalms this morning, I don’t know how many times David asks God to “Refresh me! Create in me a new heart! Return unto me the joy of Thy salvation!” I know what you are going through….I believe it comes with the job. Sometimes we have to just lay down our sword….cry a little…and let God give us rest. In my opinion….this shows that you are doing right!!! I KNOW the strength in you!!!!! I also know it’s ok to ‘let loose’ and rest. Love you…Thank you for the wisdom, and strength, I fiend in your words.

  2. jimmie clark says:

    I think those times are when we really rely on our faith. It takes faith that God can handle it all while we rest and regroup. But you know that, I’m sure. But i think the Lord is happy with us even in the dry times.

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