Throughout my adult life I have always felt a sense of being responsible for everything and everyone. I feel responsible for making and keeping everyone in my life happy. I often try to run interference for peoples mistakes, shortcomings, even their sin. I also work hard at making sure no one hurts or takes advantage of the people I love. My brother still reminds me of the times I came to his defence when neighborhood kids were after him. In my own defence, I tell myself that I do this hoping to save them from heartache and trouble. I recently came to the truth of the matter. I am not their God or their Holy Spirit! As Christians, they each have the Holy Spirit living in their own heart. He lovingly brings guidance and teaching to them. He convicts them of their sin. It is absolutely not my responsibilty to see that everyone I love is happy, obedient, polite, on time, dressed, nose cleaned, face washed, or their dishes washed. The list could go on and on. I thought I was making their life easier. I never thought that I was interferring in their life.
God began to speak to me about this habit of interferring. I told myself that I was just training and instructing them in righteousness (right living). Don’t get me wrong, I thought I was being helpful with my suggestions of what was the right way to live and be. In the middle of analyzing my behavior, God opened my eyes to some spiritual truth as to why I am compelled to “interfer” in my loved ones lives. Two flaws in my personality have come to light. I am a control freak and I have not been trusting God to take care of my loved ones.
Bringing correction to one of my flaws was fairly easy. God led me to a scripture verse which opened my eyes and my heart to his truth and begin the road to correcting this flaw in my life.
But let every person carefully scrutinize and examine and test his own conduct and
his own work. He can then have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable [in itself alone] without [resorting to] boastful comparison with his
neighbor. For every person will have to bear (be equal to understanding and calmly
receive) his own [little] load [of oppressive faults]. Galatians 6:4-6 (amp)
So, the truth I’ve been missing lies in the fact that each and every person has the full responsibility to bear and understand and calmly receive his own little load of faults. And if I can add my own two cents worth here, he also bears the burden to do something about that load of faults. Thus, I am obviously not held accountable for the faults and other load of baggage pushed around in their cart.
The time has come that I must search deep into my soul and discover why I have this passion to fix everyone. As I prayed about this flaw in my life, memories of growing up in a family of one dad, one mom, and 3 much younger siblings, I saw the light. I was the oldest of 4 children. I spent a large portion of my valuable time babysitting. Both of my parents worked, and guess what? I was responsible for my brother and two sisters. If they messed up the house, I was responsible. If they did anything they were not allowed to do, yep, I was responsible. I love my parents and do not blame them for this seemingly injustice. They had to work and I was lucky enough to be born first.
The second flaw has been slightly harder to repair. It involves my faith and trust in the Lord to care for those I love. I really did believe I had faith and prayed often for my family. I told myself that I had faith in God and trusted him, but I did not trust my loved ones to listen and obey him and his word. In all truth, I had set myself up to be their Holy Spirit and bring conviction on them every time they did not live up to my expectations.
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. Proverbs 3:5 (amp)
Holding fast to faith (that leaning of the entire human personality on God in absolute trust and confidence). 1Ti 1:19(a) (amp)
And Jesus, replying, said to them, Have faith in God [constantly]. Mark 11:22 (amp)
For my own peace of mind, and some peace and quiet for my family, I have decided to trust God. In all his wisdom, and the fact that he loves my family more than I do, he will watch over them and get the job done without my help. He has a plan for them and knows what it will take to bring them to that plan and purpose for their lives.
Heavenly Father, I now place those whom you and I love back into your very capable hands, trusting them to you and to the plans and future you have for them. Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes to the fact that I had become a hindrance to your work. You have given me peace that passes all understanding. Thank You, Lord!
BTW~ Do you know my Savior? Jesus is his name.